03-08-2013, 11:06 AM
#1
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Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect .'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.' Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.' Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type..'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Opera tor: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall..
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer..'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller: 'No...'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?' Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.' Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't..' Operator: 'No? Why not?' Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.' Operator: 'A power ... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?' Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..' Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.' Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?' Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.' Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?' Operator: 'Tell them you're to stupid to own a computer!'

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 03-08-2013, 11:34 AM
#2
  • Howler
  • A calamophile and vintage razor lover
  • Fort Smith AR
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Too funny 24
At least he had an operator that spoke english.

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 03-08-2013, 11:53 AM
#3
  • njpaddy
  • Member
  • Central New Jersey
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For a couple of years in the late 90's, I did basic pc support for my office in addition to my regular duties. Hard to believe how dumb some college-educated people can be. Two examples:

1. One guy complained that every time he turned on his computer it took a long time to boot up because it went into defrag mode. When I asked how he shut it down, he said he just pushed the off button.

2. A woman complained the laptop she took home must be broken because something was wrong with the display when she turned it on every morning. Turns out she was leaving it in her car overnight in freezing temperatures.

btw, in my opinion, WordPerfect 5.1 for DOS was the best word processor ever made for pc. I hated when my office went to Word for Windows. And every version of Word gets worse which is why the pc I built is still running XP and the full version of Office 97.

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 03-08-2013, 11:58 AM
#4
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Bob, is this an actual recording?!
Wow, what a comment! i wonder if the person got fired for it! Great story.

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 03-08-2013, 12:09 PM
#5
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(03-08-2013, 11:53 AM)njpaddy Wrote: For a couple of years in the late 90's, I did basic pc support for my office in addition to my regular duties. Hard to believe how dumb some college-educated people can be. Two examples:

1. One guy complained that every time he turned on his computer it took a long time to boot up because it went into defrag mode. When I asked how he shut it down, he said he just pushed the off button.

2. A woman complained the laptop she took home must be broken because something was wrong with the display when she turned it on every morning. Turns out she was leaving it in her car overnight in freezing temperatures.

btw, in my opinion, WordPerfect 5.1 for DOS was the best word processor ever made for pc. I hated when my office went to Word for Windows. And every version of Word gets worse which is why the pc I built is still running XP and the full version of Office 97.

Sounds like my wife. Wink

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 03-08-2013, 12:42 PM
#6
  • Johnny
  • Super Moderator
  • Wausau, Wisconsin, USA
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Now that's funny and unfortunately the truth with some.

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 03-08-2013, 12:49 PM
#7
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(03-08-2013, 11:58 AM)celestino Wrote: Bob, is this an actual recording?!
Wow, what a comment! i wonder if the person got fired for it! Great story.

Who knows, my friend, who knows. I got it from a golfing buddy. It sure sounds about right.

eta: and it was my first good laugh of the day.

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 03-08-2013, 01:07 PM
#8
  • slantman
  • Expert Shaver
  • Leesburg, Florida
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Very funny Bob but true in many cases.

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 03-08-2013, 02:24 PM
#9
  • freddy
  • Senior Member
  • San Diego, California, U.S.A.
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It does beg the question, just how far does customer service have to go?

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