04-29-2013, 03:06 PM
#1
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I feel dumb asking this at 34 but:
I live in the Prescott, AZ area which I love except for the pay; teaching pays around 30k and that's with a masters. I'm thinking about moving down The Valley for about 10k more per year. We're very settled here, Carly is very active and successful in the community theater, and the in-laws live about 2 miles away and help with the kids. We love the area and everyone seems to want to move here. I even have a good relationship with the Ex-husband (and Carly's dad) and he lives within bike riding distance. My parents are thinking about moving here after me Ma retires at the end of the school year.

A 33% pay raise is significant, but does economics trump family happiness? If I go, I'd live at a friends house for a while then the family would come down separately.

I've talked this over with my dad, and his answer is: whatever you think is right for your family. Anyone have any "fatherly" advise for a confused "kid"?

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 04-29-2013, 03:12 PM
#2
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Money buys a lot of misery.

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 04-29-2013, 03:27 PM
#3
  • ben74
  • Administrator
  • Perth, Australia
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The pay increase certainly represents a significant change in finances and IMO enough of one to warrant investing time to consider it.

The advice you need to be taking on board is that of your wife and children as moves can be unsettling and money can not always solve the issues that arise when people feel displaced.

If you have the support of the wife and children then I would be leaning towards pursuing the change.

If the proposal is met with much resistance, then I'd be taking measure of all the positives you have already highlighted as they may in fact out way the opportunities offered by further access to resources.

In the end money can't buy happiness, but it certainly can certainly help!

Loosing the assistance of childcare with family being close by and extra travel requirements to visit them can quickly eat away the profits of relocating. My concern is the possible costs this move may cause as it places demands on the positive relationships you've formed.

It's a move I'd make, but I'd want the support of my wife and acceptance of my children prior to committing to implement it.

All this though is from one kid to another (as I'm only a few years older than you)...

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 04-29-2013, 03:32 PM
#4
  • freddy
  • Senior Member
  • San Diego, California, U.S.A.
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This is truly a combination heart and head decision that your ex-husband and you will have to work out. The old idea of putting a line down a piece of long foolscap paper and titling one side "pros" and the other "cons" and writing them down so you can visually see what you two are thinking might help here.

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 04-29-2013, 03:46 PM
#5
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Interesting and changing times ahead.

MIG - money is god (arguably), and money buys choice, period.

I'm significantly older and wiser; at any given point in time, I would far rather be rich and miserable than poor and happy... YMMV.

We live in a material world where we are literally conditioned/duty bound to chase the dollar (IMHO) - that accepted or not, it doesn't have to be a one way ticket, a successful strategy could be one, which factors in a return ticket, no?

Forgive me, I call it how it is, good luck, Frank

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 04-29-2013, 04:19 PM
#6
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Here's some things you need to take into consideration.

Phoenix is more costly.
As a single mother, you'll need child care. Which is costly.
Your ex-husband may bring up child custody issues.
Your ex-husband may sue to prevent you moving the children.


I can assure you that $10,000 disappears quite quickly down here.

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 04-29-2013, 06:50 PM
#7
  • Arcadies
  • Senior Member
  • Greeneville, TN
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(04-29-2013, 04:19 PM)asharperrazor Wrote: Here's some things you need to take into consideration.

Phoenix is more costly.
As a single mother, you'll need child care. Which is costly.
Your ex-husband may bring up child custody issues.
Your ex-husband may sue to prevent you moving the children.


I can assure you that $10,000 disappears quite quickly down here.

This is what I was about to mention..if cost of living is significantly higher where you would be going.
Where I live the pay rates are all fairly low, but the cost of living here, be it gas, food or a home, is super cheap (a large 3-4 BR home on 1 acre of land would run about $150-175k..but you move just 80 miles to Knoxville and it will be 2-3x that.

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 04-29-2013, 07:19 PM
#8
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Some answers to questions/thoughts posted:
- Cost of living is about the same between here and the valley. 1200 sqft house on city lot rents at $1000-1200 a month.
- The Prettier half is supportive of the move; I have no professional or monetary growth up here, until I get my PhD.
- The kids don't wanna move - Carly has friends and her dad, Josh just started sp.ed. intervention preschool.
- If this choice involved a beach-town instead of a mountain-town there would be no argument.

asharperrazor - where in AZ are you?

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 04-29-2013, 08:08 PM
#9
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Wow, what a difficult decision and i wish you courage and strength in making your choice! Good luck.

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 04-29-2013, 08:38 PM
#10
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(04-29-2013, 03:12 PM)CyanideMetal Wrote: Money buys a lot of misery.

What he said.

My now ex wife and i moved from florida to chicago due to a job opportunity i had. We thought of everything, from being away from family, to the fact a literal 50k+ raise would allow us to travel and do whatever we wanted.

Worst decision we ever made. I'd go back the old life and the lack of pay any day of the year.

Sent from my ASUS Transformer Pad TF700T using Tapatalk HD

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 04-29-2013, 10:57 PM
#11
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(04-29-2013, 07:19 PM)for my son Wrote: Some answers to questions/thoughts posted:
- Cost of living is about the same between here and the valley. 1200 sqft house on city lot rents at $1000-1200 a month.
- The Prettier half is supportive of the move; I have no professional or monetary growth up here, until I get my PhD.
- The kids don't wanna move - Carly has friends and her dad, Josh just started sp.ed. intervention preschool.
- If this choice involved a beach-town instead of a mountain-town there would be no argument.

asharperrazor - where in AZ are you?

Scottsdale.

Yes, but have you seen the houses $1,000 rents you here? Not terribly great. Plus, you'll be spending a lot more on gas since we generally drive a lot further.

Not terribly keen on the Prescott housing situation, but I imagine gas is a little more, but you do less driving since everything is so much closer together.

Well, from my understanding of how the education career goes, you really don't have much growth with a master's anyway unless you bump up to community college level, but then you're capped since universities generally don't want to tenure you. The other career path was management. In which case, the valley may have some career paths.

The climate here is crummy. I think you'll find that you may be more than willing to take a pay cut to avoid the 120 degree days in the summer.

Tell you what, let's switch during the summer. Then you can really experience the valley. Biggrin

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 04-29-2013, 11:19 PM
#12
  • Johnny
  • Super Moderator
  • Wausau, Wisconsin, USA
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If the main consideration for making the move is a $10K raise, stay where you're at. It sounds like a great community with many friends and advantages for "the family".

I can tell you from almost 67 years of mistakes, money does not buy happiness. And besides, it will put you in a higher tax bracket.

Just my opinion.

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 04-29-2013, 11:28 PM
#13
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"Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen [pounds] nineteen [shillings] and six [pence], result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery."

Do you need the extra money, or is it just nice to have? Does the extra cash cover the potential increase in living costs (rent, food, gas, other) - including the cost of visiting inlaws, friends etc where you live now? If the extra pay will cover the extra expenses plus give a surplus, it's is worth considering. If it don't, stay where you are... off course, that is just my opinion.

If it does give a surplus, is it a big enough surplus to cover for the intangibles of living where you do now (closeness to family, your friends and activities, your child's friends and activities and so on and so froth)? Money don't buy happiness, but I know quite a few people who could be better of but are happy as clams.

In the end it's a whole lot of YMMV, and I think the best I and the other 'nookers can do is to help you figure out what questions you'll need to have answered before you can make an informed decision.

I've changed 'career tracks' four times to far, while staying in the RNoAF. None of the changes was due to a pay increase (although the last one did give one, which was nice), but due to the desire to try something new, realizing that the new thing wasn't for me, a desire to stay at a particular base and a re-organisation...

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 04-30-2013, 04:00 AM
#14
  • savagejoerude
  • If you ain't a LOSER, you ain't livin'!!
  • New Orleans USA
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I've always been one where quality of life trumps EVERYTHING !!! If you're happy where you are will you still be moving? I moved to Tennessee for 10 years. I loved it up there. I had everything I always wanted. Country living, slow pace, peace and tranquility. I came back to my hometown after Katrina. I've been stuck here ever since. A day doesn't go by that I don't miss my little place on Pretty Creek. Yes I make twice the money here but I often wonder, am I happy? Before I moved I did everything I could to get away from city life. I found my nirvana. Reality put me in a spot where I had to return to my old life. Sad to say it but if I had to do it over again I would have stayed where I was and let everyone sort this mess out without me....

As for now I long for the clean air, the soil, peace and quiet. No traffic, no pressure. The things that made me happy.. NOTE: Money is NOT on the list... Good Luck...

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 04-30-2013, 04:53 PM
#15
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(04-29-2013, 10:57 PM)asharperrazor Wrote:
(04-29-2013, 07:19 PM)for my son Wrote: Some answers to questions/thoughts posted:
- Cost of living is about the same between here and the valley. 1200 sqft house on city lot rents at $1000-1200 a month.
- The Prettier half is supportive of the move; I have no professional or monetary growth up here, until I get my PhD.
- The kids don't wanna move - Carly has friends and her dad, Josh just started sp.ed. intervention preschool.
- If this choice involved a beach-town instead of a mountain-town there would be no argument.

asharperrazor - where in AZ are you?

Scottsdale.

Yes, but have you seen the houses $1,000 rents you here? Not terribly great. Plus, you'll be spending a lot more on gas since we generally drive a lot further.

Not terribly keen on the Prescott housing situation, but I imagine gas is a little more, but you do less driving since everything is so much closer together.

Well, from my understanding of how the education career goes, you really don't have much growth with a master's anyway unless you bump up to community college level, but then you're capped since universities generally don't want to tenure you. The other career path was management. In which case, the valley may have some career paths.

The climate here is crummy. I think you'll find that you may be more than willing to take a pay cut to avoid the 120 degree days in the summer.

Tell you what, let's switch during the summer. Then you can really experience the valley. Biggrin

I was there summer 09 taking summer classes at ASU. I think that was in the top 5 hottest summers ever. I know what it's like; sticking your head in the oven gets close. I never thought 100 would feel cool. However, if you're willing to take the wife and kids (and my parents) for the summer... I might have to think about it. Biggrin

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 04-30-2013, 05:49 PM
#16
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Only you can weigh out the true cost and the intrinsic value.

Personally, I'd think long and hard. But then I'm an old cart.

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 05-01-2013, 08:34 PM
#17
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thanks for the advice guys! Unless my dream job comes along before I sign my contract, Prescott is where I stay.

I and My family thanks all of you for your input. If we like where we live, and we're making ends meet (barely) then why leave. The grass isn't always greener....

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 05-01-2013, 08:35 PM
#18
  • freddy
  • Senior Member
  • San Diego, California, U.S.A.
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All the best to you. Thumbsup

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