07-09-2013, 04:55 AM
#1
  • Johnny
  • Super Moderator
  • Wausau, Wisconsin, USA
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 07-09-2013, 05:08 AM
#2
  • Agravic
  • Emeritus
  • Pennsylvania, USA
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Very true, Johnny! Thankfully, my children are respectful of others. Smile

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 07-09-2013, 06:46 AM
#3
  • Grumpy
  • Senior Member
  • DisneyLand
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Very True. Now that brings up and interesting problem.

I have a 16 year old and sometimes when he speaks to his Mother he is disrespectful.

But, his Mother has treated him as an equal and agrues with him like he is a sibling. No Mother Son Relationship.

For years I complained ... but when I objected to the way he spoke to his Mother (my Wife) ... my Wife (his Mother) defended him.

I told her that 1) my Mother would not tollerate being spoken to in that manner, 2) I would have been slapped in the face for speaking that way, 3) I told her ... you should not treat him like a friend, 4) You will regret it when he gets older, 5) He will not respect you as he gets older, etc.

Nothing I said had any impact on her and the way that she interacts with our son.

Now ... since I could not get through to her to make her understand ... I usually pulled my son aside and had little conversations with him to try and get him to behave a little more respectfully toward his Mother. But, it is hard on him when my Wife (his Mother) acts more like a Sister than a Mother. (Go Figure).

But, I told my son the simple truth ... I helped to bring you into the world and I can take you out.

Now my Wife (his Mother) does not understand why she is not respected by our son and why he behaves the way he does towards her.

I really can't explain it to her because she does not beleive that there are differences between men and women ... as we are "all" the same. And since she has a thick head ... she is just one of those people that don't learn much from other people but, has to learn on her own.

It is one of those things where I am right, I tell her I am right and I have decided that I would rather be right than, happy.

But, it is really not that bad sleeping on the couch.

Other than that our Son is a Good Kid but, my Wife should be a Mother to him and not a Friend. And I wish my Wife realized that Men and Women are different but, what do you expect for a feminist.

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 07-09-2013, 06:57 AM
#4
  • Johnny
  • Super Moderator
  • Wausau, Wisconsin, USA
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When your son was growing up and misbehaved, was your wife one that believed in timeouts?

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 07-09-2013, 06:59 AM
#5
  • slantman
  • Expert Shaver
  • Leesburg, Florida
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A firm grip when children are very young usually does the trick.However, it doesn't work in every family situation. I am speaking from experience.

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 07-09-2013, 07:04 AM
#6
  • Johnny
  • Super Moderator
  • Wausau, Wisconsin, USA
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I hear you Jerry. I have a granddaughter that will try your patients. Her Mom and Dad have almost no control over her. After spending an hour with old Grandpa she behaves like a little angle.

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 07-09-2013, 07:51 AM
#7
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Kids and parents can be so challenging!Biggrin

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 07-09-2013, 02:20 PM
#8
  • Grumpy
  • Senior Member
  • DisneyLand
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No Timeouts ... But,

1) No does not mean NO!

2) There is always a Second Chance.

3) If I am asking why he did something ... she can always come up with an answer.

4) She prefers to Yell across the house to see what he is doing vs. getting off her butt and finding out. And then she will complain if he isn't doing what she had told him to do.

As for discipline she would perfer for there to be none ... so she usually complains/whines about what happened.

LOL

I would perfer the Teddy Roosevelt Method - Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick. However, this is my side of the story and I am sticking to it. And her side would, of course, be different. YMMV

Yep ... Parents, Kids and Goats can be challenging.

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 07-09-2013, 03:37 PM
#9
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Sounds like your Wife chose her method.

I would focus more on how You and He interface in spite of Your requirements being different than Your Wifes.

Yeah I know, doesn't fix much with Your Wife but You can't control everything.

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