08-05-2013, 08:45 AM
#1
  • Obie
  • Senior Member
  • Glendale, Wisconsin
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Gentlemen, for a time some years ago I shaved at the health club. It was usually after my workout and a delicious steam bath. I would either shave with a straight razor or a double edge, and with brush, soap and the whole wet shaving ritual. People were always curious about my shave routine, especially about the straight razor. I also had many conversations with the gentleman at the sink next to mine. Here is one of those chats as best as I can recall it. I had just finished a great shave with the straight razor when he shuffled over to the sink and began examining his face in the mirror:

"Oh, man, I sure cut myself. Hurts like hell."

"Over lip, too. It's such a tender spot."

"Right over the kisser. And got a date tonight."

"I'd say you have a problem."

"Yeah, no chick's gonna kiss me with that thing on my lip."

"Unless she's Dracula's daughter."

"No way. She's a great looking chick."

"Maybe you can hold hands all night."

"Ain't holdin' hands with no chick."

"She's not going to chow on that kisser."

"You're telling me."

"What on earth did you do to yourself?"

"Cut myself shaving this morning. Hate shaving."

"It's obvious. What did you use for a razor, an ax?"

"Nah. Got a great razor."

"I can see that."

"Not one of those you got."

"Straight razor, you mean?"

"Yeah, those knife things. My grandpa had one. No way."

"What type of a razor do you use?"

"Best razor in the world."

"Really?"

"Smoothest. Greatest shave."

"Yes, of course."

"Five blades, dude."

"You're kidding? A razor with five blades?"

"Doesn't miss a hair."

"No, I suppose it wouldn't."

"Zap, zap, zap and I'm done. About a minute."

"We should all save every minute in the day."

"You oughta' try it."

"Oh, absolutely. Who wouldn't want a razor with five blades?"

"And it vibrates."

"Vibrates?"

"Vibrates, dude. Almost shaves your face for you."

"Is that so? You have a razor with five blades and it vibrates. I'm impressed."

"Chicks love me. Face smooth like silk."

"Except for the chewed up kisser — and you have a date."

"Dude, you're killin' me."

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 08-05-2013, 09:23 AM
#2
  • Johnny
  • Super Moderator
  • Wausau, Wisconsin, USA
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Reminds me of the conversation I had with my oldest son before I got him to switch.

"Smoothest shave ever, just don't understand why my face and neck are red and burning".

Old Dad knows best. Biggrin

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 08-05-2013, 09:24 AM
#3
  • Fab
  • Active Member
  • New York, NY
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LOL. That's funny. I don't know if I would able to hold myself and not laugh in his face.
He better stay with his greatest razor in the world. If he was able to do some damage to his face with that, imagine if he was to try a straight or a DE Biggrin

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 08-05-2013, 09:54 AM
#4
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Great post, Obie!
Kids, think they know everything!Biggrin

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 08-05-2013, 12:43 PM
#5
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Great account, Obie. Thanks for sharing.

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 08-06-2013, 09:55 AM
#6
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too funny. five blades... and it vibrates! do they really make such things? are we sure he didn't just attach his mach 3 to a sonic care toothbrush?

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 08-06-2013, 11:15 AM
#7
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Smoothest shave ever - except that ugly gash. Amazing how some of us come to believe in the advertisements, isn't it?

Still, had it been me I would not been able to keep a straight face - I would have cracked up just as I did reading this 24

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 08-06-2013, 12:03 PM
#8
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I'm actually surprised he got cut. I thought the young folks were indestructible. I know that I myself was until I hit about 40ish, even more indistuctible when I was much younger, but I also had something to back up that attitude other than hot air built up into self esteem. Except I've always had my brain in gear too, and the conversation wouldn't have been lost in the great vacuum between young ears. I'd have asked questions to learn something. Even if I didn't use it I would put it on a mental shelf on the chance that I might need it someday.

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 08-06-2013, 02:46 PM
#9
  • gijames
  • Mile High Soldier
  • TN, USA
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(08-06-2013, 12:03 PM)ShadowsDad Wrote: ...Except I've always had my brain in gear too, and the conversation wouldn't have been lost in the great vacuum between young ears. I'd have asked questions to learn something. Even if I didn't use it I would put it on a mental shelf on the chance that I might need it someday.
That is the one thing that serves best... I don't have a great memory, but one thing folks seem to comment about (for better or worse!) is that they are surprised about the many things I will engage in conversation about...

Well Obie Blush it is you and Brian that bring this out... your wonderful, and funny account of that conversation... and Brian's comment about wanting to learn, being engaged to ask questions.

PBS was my secondary channel growing up!
and anything like it... Who remember Nimoy narrating "In Search Of..."?

Blessings,
James

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 08-06-2013, 03:05 PM
#10
  • Obie
  • Senior Member
  • Glendale, Wisconsin
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(08-06-2013, 09:55 AM)el_mustango Wrote: too funny. five blades... and it vibrates! do they really make such things? are we sure he didn't just attach his mach 3 to a sonic care toothbrush?
Five blades that vibrate, indeed, my friend. Gillette's ProGlide. It is the hallmark of Gillette's modern creation. Lord help us.

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