05-07-2014, 11:38 AM
Yon poor wee honey badger wouldn't last five minutes in some of the pubs round here and that's just with the women! 10 vodkas (mere moistening of the vocal cords) and half the local femen would have handbags outta the poor thing. Fiercer than a honey badger? Hell hath no fury like a Scottish wifey wi' a spilled drink! Escape? No bugger would have got out of Colditz if the guardhouse had been populated with some of the witches round here.
They don't walk around here with Pitbulls, Dobermanns or Rottweilers as pets. Three honey badgers following meekly in their female owners broad wake is more the thing.
We don't need a nuclear deterrent - we just send in the 'ladies'!
An all female police force round here would either lead to no crime whatsoever or racketeering and corruption on a massive scale.
You don't get married round here, some bint gets a licence to keep you as a pet.
Why do you think Scotsmen wear kilts? Because the women wear the trousers!
Yon bearded lady in the Eurovision Song Contest has Scottish ancestry, I guarantee it!
Most English folk would be happy see Scotland get independence only if there was a massive border guard to stop our women going down to Blackpool to get plastered at various weekends. They switch the illuminations off on such occassions 'cos our 'ladies' light the place up all by themselves....
You don't see 'Beware of the Dog' signs round here - they all say 'Beware of the Wife'.
There's no Women's Institute either - we have the Matrimonial Guards Division instead. They all pass their tank licence before thinking about cars....
It is de rigeur for a man to wear a pink shirt hereabouts as it is not considered butch enough for the girls.
And you lot are worried about honey badgers? Pah!
They don't walk around here with Pitbulls, Dobermanns or Rottweilers as pets. Three honey badgers following meekly in their female owners broad wake is more the thing.
We don't need a nuclear deterrent - we just send in the 'ladies'!
An all female police force round here would either lead to no crime whatsoever or racketeering and corruption on a massive scale.
You don't get married round here, some bint gets a licence to keep you as a pet.
Why do you think Scotsmen wear kilts? Because the women wear the trousers!
Yon bearded lady in the Eurovision Song Contest has Scottish ancestry, I guarantee it!
Most English folk would be happy see Scotland get independence only if there was a massive border guard to stop our women going down to Blackpool to get plastered at various weekends. They switch the illuminations off on such occassions 'cos our 'ladies' light the place up all by themselves....
You don't see 'Beware of the Dog' signs round here - they all say 'Beware of the Wife'.
There's no Women's Institute either - we have the Matrimonial Guards Division instead. They all pass their tank licence before thinking about cars....
It is de rigeur for a man to wear a pink shirt hereabouts as it is not considered butch enough for the girls.
And you lot are worried about honey badgers? Pah!

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