05-25-2012, 02:12 PM
#1
  • Johnny
  • Super Moderator
  • Wausau, Wisconsin, USA
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Maybe it's just the way I was raised, but here are a few things that just tick me off.

Hearing someone refer to their mother and father as my old lady or old man.

Hearing someone refer to their spouse as their old lady or old man.

Not holding the door open for a lady.

There are more, but I have to go take a short nap right now.

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 05-25-2012, 02:19 PM
#2
  • xraygun
  • Active Member
  • Bainbridge Island
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don't nap. kids will play on your lawn...

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 05-25-2012, 02:34 PM
#3
  • freddy
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  • San Diego, California, U.S.A.
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Johnny, you and I are roughly the same age but we take slightly different views on these things. For example, a person calling his or her spouse 'my old lady' (or 'man') depends very much on the relationship of the two people involved and can be as much an endearment as a put down.

Saying the same thing when discussing one's parents might have more to do with peer pressure in young people rather than any thought of insulting one's mother or father.

Holding a door open for someone of either gender is the courteous thing to do, no matter whether the one holding open the door is male or female.

Obviously, any one of your points can be correct for a particular situation. However, I would not say it is necessarily true in all cases. Smile

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 05-25-2012, 02:41 PM
#4
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I stopped calling people "my old lady" at the same time I quit greeting everybody with "Hey, man" and describing things as "boss" or "groovy."

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 05-25-2012, 06:35 PM
#5
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Being old enough and raised in The South (well, Texas), I always stand when a lady enters the room. Some people barely raise their heads. There are many more.

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 05-25-2012, 07:20 PM
#6
  • uncledave
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  • Kentucky, USA
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(05-25-2012, 06:35 PM)TexBilly Wrote: Being old enough and raised in The South (well, Texas), I always stand when a lady enters the room. Some people barely raise their heads. There are many more.

I think people from the Deep South and of my age must be the last generation taught the old manners.

I was taught to call older people either Sir or Maam unless they were relatives. If relatives we called them Uncle or Aunt.

I was taught to "doff" my hat in a building and to tip it to ladies in passing or doff it again if conversing with a lady.

Saying Please and Thank You was an absolute must.

We always opened doors for ladies or for the elderly.

If a lady had no place to sit, a gentleman would stand up and give her his seat.

I still try to follow the old ways. I am bewildered at some of the new "manners" today. Again, I'm not condemning, I'm just freely admitting that I'm a dinosaur and don't understand. Biggrin

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 05-25-2012, 08:55 PM
#7
  • Johnny
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  • Wausau, Wisconsin, USA
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(05-25-2012, 02:19 PM)xraygun Wrote: don't nap. kids will play on your lawn...

That's what lawns were made for.

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 05-25-2012, 09:32 PM
#8
  • Crag
  • Senior Member
  • Menifee, Ca 92586
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My grandma would hit you if you didn't call her Lady...Like "Hey, Lady". She always thought of herself as a Lady and wanted her grand-kids to treat her as one...but I gotta tell you, she had a mean left cross...I called her Grandma once and POW right in the kisser...

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 05-26-2012, 03:59 PM
#9
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(05-25-2012, 07:20 PM)uncledave Wrote:
(05-25-2012, 06:35 PM)TexBilly Wrote: Being old enough and raised in The South (well, Texas), I always stand when a lady enters the room. Some people barely raise their heads. There are many more.

I think people from the Deep South and of my age must be the last generation taught the old manners.

I was taught to call older people either Sir or Maam unless they were relatives. If relatives we called them Uncle or Aunt.

I was taught to "doff" my hat in a building and to tip it to ladies in passing or doff it again if conversing with a lady.

Saying Please and Thank You was an absolute must.

We always opened doors for ladies or for the elderly.

If a lady had no place to sit, a gentleman would stand up and give her his seat.

I still try to follow the old ways. I am bewildered at some of the new "manners" today. Again, I'm not condemning, I'm just freely admitting that I'm a dinosaur and don't understand. Biggrin

Some of the old southern customs as far as the ones that you have mentioned I try to follow.

As I approach my fifth decade on this planet I seem to appreciate these things more and more, even if most others don't care anymore. I guess they are too busy demanding to be respected, but that is a whole different topic.

Tipping the hat to the ladies with a slight downward bob of the head is still a classy thing to do.

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 05-26-2012, 04:09 PM
#10
  • uncledave
  • Returned to DE Shaving After 40 years
  • Kentucky, USA
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(05-26-2012, 03:59 PM)GDCarrington Wrote:
(05-25-2012, 07:20 PM)uncledave Wrote:
(05-25-2012, 06:35 PM)TexBilly Wrote: Being old enough and raised in The South (well, Texas), I always stand when a lady enters the room. Some people barely raise their heads. There are many more.

I think people from the Deep South and of my age must be the last generation taught the old manners.

I was taught to call older people either Sir or Maam unless they were relatives. If relatives we called them Uncle or Aunt.

I was taught to "doff" my hat in a building and to tip it to ladies in passing or doff it again if conversing with a lady.

Saying Please and Thank You was an absolute must.

We always opened doors for ladies or for the elderly.

If a lady had no place to sit, a gentleman would stand up and give her his seat.

I still try to follow the old ways. I am bewildered at some of the new "manners" today. Again, I'm not condemning, I'm just freely admitting that I'm a dinosaur and don't understand. Biggrin

Some of the old southern customs as far as the ones that you have mentioned I try to follow.

As I approach my fifth decade on this planet I seem to appreciate these things more and more, even if most others don't care anymore. I guess they are too busy demanding to be respected, but that is a whole different topic.

Tipping the hat to the ladies with a slight downward bob of the head is still a classy thing to do.


It's odd that as we age we more and more appreciate things like this isn't it?

When I grew up I stayed with these ways while most of my generation changed completely. That was quite a shock. Spending about 18 years of my life with a way of life that just suddenly reversed itself in the 60s. I was never able to make the change, and didn't want to actually.

But then again, I think spats are cool. So go figure! Rolleyes

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 05-26-2012, 04:28 PM
#11
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(05-25-2012, 02:19 PM)xraygun Wrote: don't nap. kids will play on your lawn...

LOL, not my lawn.


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 05-26-2012, 04:45 PM
#12
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(05-25-2012, 07:20 PM)uncledave Wrote: I think people from the Deep South and of my age must be the last generation taught the old manners.

I was taught to call older people either Sir or Maam unless they were relatives. If relatives we called them Uncle or Aunt.

I was taught to "doff" my hat in a building and to tip it to ladies in passing or doff it again if conversing with a lady.

Saying Please and Thank You was an absolute must.

We always opened doors for ladies or for the elderly.

If a lady had no place to sit, a gentleman would stand up and give her his seat.

I still try to follow the old ways. I am bewildered at some of the new "manners" today. Again, I'm not condemning, I'm just freely admitting that I'm a dinosaur and don't understand. Biggrin

Things were pretty much the same when I grew up in California. We were not taught to doff our hats because hardly anybody wore hats by the time I was born. Referring to people as Sir and Ma'am would have been considered rather odd, but we were taught to always address adults as Mr., Mrs. or Miss and never by their first name. It was not only in my family, everybody behaved that way. Any of us failing to do so would have gotten our britches warmed. It is more informal there nowadays, but nearly everybody is still polite and respectful. In the surrounding region, however, many people now act like they were raised in a garbage can. Crass, crude, rude, and incredibly selfish and self-centered. These people generally don't like each other, sometimes to the point of being openly hostile.

A lot of people in today's world are ill mannered, but only because they have parents who are as bad or worse. Maybe etiquette classes should be taught in the schools? It is not a perfect solution, but it might help.

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 05-26-2012, 04:49 PM
#13
  • uncledave
  • Returned to DE Shaving After 40 years
  • Kentucky, USA
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(05-26-2012, 04:45 PM)Tbone Wrote:
(05-25-2012, 07:20 PM)uncledave Wrote: I think people from the Deep South and of my age must be the last generation taught the old manners.

I was taught to call older people either Sir or Maam unless they were relatives. If relatives we called them Uncle or Aunt.

I was taught to "doff" my hat in a building and to tip it to ladies in passing or doff it again if conversing with a lady.

Saying Please and Thank You was an absolute must.

We always opened doors for ladies or for the elderly.

If a lady had no place to sit, a gentleman would stand up and give her his seat.

I still try to follow the old ways. I am bewildered at some of the new "manners" today. Again, I'm not condemning, I'm just freely admitting that I'm a dinosaur and don't understand. Biggrin

Things were pretty much the same when I grew up in California. We were not taught to doff our hats because hardly anybody wore hats by the time I was born. Referring to people as Sir and Ma'am would have been considered rather odd, but we were taught to always address adults as Mr., Mrs. or Miss and never by their first name. It was not only in my family, everybody behaved that way. Any of us failing to do so would have gotten our britches warmed. It is more informal there nowadays, but nearly everybody is still polite and respectful. In the surrounding region, however, many people now act like they were raised in a garbage can. Crass, crude, rude, and incredibly selfish and self-centered. These people generally don't like each other, sometimes to the point of being openly hostile.

A lot of people in today's world are ill mannered, but only because they have parents who are as bad or worse. Maybe etiquette classes should be taught in the schools? It is not a perfect solution, but it might help.

Teaching manners in school would certainly help. Although we never had formal etiquette classes in grammar school our teachers certainly taught them right along with our parents and society in general.

By the time people of our age are all gone, rudeness will be common it will be unnoticed!

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 05-26-2012, 05:21 PM
#14
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(05-26-2012, 04:49 PM)uncledave Wrote:
(05-26-2012, 04:45 PM)Tbone Wrote:
(05-25-2012, 07:20 PM)uncledave Wrote: I think people from the Deep South and of my age must be the last generation taught the old manners.

I was taught to call older people either Sir or Maam unless they were relatives. If relatives we called them Uncle or Aunt.

I was taught to "doff" my hat in a building and to tip it to ladies in passing or doff it again if conversing with a lady.

Saying Please and Thank You was an absolute must.

We always opened doors for ladies or for the elderly.

If a lady had no place to sit, a gentleman would stand up and give her his seat.

I still try to follow the old ways. I am bewildered at some of the new "manners" today. Again, I'm not condemning, I'm just freely admitting that I'm a dinosaur and don't understand. Biggrin

Things were pretty much the same when I grew up in California. We were not taught to doff our hats because hardly anybody wore hats by the time I was born. Referring to people as Sir and Ma'am would have been considered rather odd, but we were taught to always address adults as Mr., Mrs. or Miss and never by their first name. It was not only in my family, everybody behaved that way. Any of us failing to do so would have gotten our britches warmed. It is more informal there nowadays, but nearly everybody is still polite and respectful. In the surrounding region, however, many people now act like they were raised in a garbage can. Crass, crude, rude, and incredibly selfish and self-centered. These people generally don't like each other, sometimes to the point of being openly hostile.

A lot of people in today's world are ill mannered, but only because they have parents who are as bad or worse. Maybe etiquette classes should be taught in the schools? It is not a perfect solution, but it might help.

Teaching manners in school would certainly help. Although we never had formal etiquette classes in grammar school our teachers certainly taught them right along with our parents and society in general.

By the time people of our age are all gone, rudeness will be common it will be unnoticed!

I'm not so sure todays teachers really know much about grammar and etiquette.

I grew up with the notion that gentlemen stood from the table when a lady got up, sat down, or stopped to talk. I still do that, and it includes my wife.

My best friends do the same, and some are half my age.

I don't know. Sometimes the pendulum swings pretty far in one direction, before it swings back.

Anyway, I'm too old to change, and even the young gals love it again. Biggrin

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 05-26-2012, 05:25 PM
#15
  • uncledave
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  • Kentucky, USA
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Anyway, I'm too old to change, and even the young gals love it again.
~Bob~

That's sure different. 40 years ago a young woman would about slap your face if you opened a door for her!

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 05-26-2012, 05:51 PM
#16
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I didn't realize that southern men were so kind to women.

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 05-26-2012, 07:06 PM
#17
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Our experience (in the San Francisco Bay area) is different. We have raised our two granddaughters (now 6.5 and almost 4) since infancy, as their parents are both employed (thankfully!), and manners are paramount. Please, thank you, Mr and Miss -- these are non-negotiable. When they get a little older, Mrs will be added in there. I have been trying to inculcate the labels of Esteemed Grandfather and Beloved Grandmother, but to no avail! Biggrin

We were raised that way, so never knew any different. IMO It is NOT the school's responsibility, these things really should be taught in the home. It's time to stop abdicating parental responsibility by putting the job off onto the schools.

My pet peeve -- don't call me dude!

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 05-26-2012, 07:24 PM
#18
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(05-26-2012, 04:28 PM)PanchoVilla Wrote:
(05-25-2012, 02:19 PM)xraygun Wrote: don't nap. kids will play on your lawn...

LOL, not my lawn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NelBNtNm8l0

Get off my lawnThumbsup

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 05-26-2012, 08:25 PM
#19
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(05-26-2012, 05:51 PM)Pnume Wrote: I didn't realize that southern men were so kind to women.

Some still are, sadly others are not, but we who choose to do so are a dying breed these days.

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 05-26-2012, 11:36 PM
#20
  • uncledave
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(05-26-2012, 08:25 PM)GDCarrington Wrote:
(05-26-2012, 05:51 PM)Pnume Wrote: I didn't realize that southern men were so kind to women.

Some still are, sadly others are not, but we who choose to do so are a dying breed these days.

Absolutely!

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