10-03-2017, 03:28 AM
#41
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my oldest son is 21 and has autism. so i give him his shaves. he enjoys it and likes aqua velva a/s. it is also valuable father/ son time. i love doing it for him. and you can't put a price on our time together...

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 10-03-2017, 07:33 AM
#42
  • chazt
  • Senior Member
  • Queens, NY
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(10-03-2017, 03:28 AM)sgtfriday Wrote: my oldest son is 21 and has autism. so i give him his shaves. he enjoys it and likes aqua velva a/s. it is also valuable father/ son time. i love doing it for him. and you can't put a price on our time together...

This is nice to hear. I'm somewhat envious of your father-son time. My daughters definitely are not interested in shaving with me. They only ask Mom to do lady stuff with them. Not that I want to or are qualified to do "lady stuff," but it would be nice to be asked once in a while to spend some time together. Me? I'm there for occasional advice and "fixing" things. When they were younger it was truly "things" that I would fix, now I'm only needed to fix/help "problems."

Do you use lather and blade or electric with your son? Is he able to learn to shave himself? I ask because my next door neighbor's 14 year old son is a person with autism, and he needs to learn to shave. The father's a dopey jerk with limited patience and seems incapable of teaching the young man to shave. I want to suggest they teach him to shave with an electric razor so he can master an important life skill. But I'm only the neighbor and don't want to overstep boundaries.

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 12-05-2017, 11:39 AM
#43
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Thanks for sharing!!!!!! Great thread.

Roger

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 12-16-2017, 02:10 PM
#44
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(10-03-2017, 07:33 AM)chazt Wrote:
(10-03-2017, 03:28 AM)sgtfriday Wrote: my oldest son is 21 and has autism. so i give him his shaves. he enjoys it and likes aqua velva a/s. it is also valuable father/ son time. i love doing it for him. and you can't put a price on our time together...

This is nice to hear. I'm somewhat envious of your father-son time. My daughters definitely are not interested in shaving with me. They only ask Mom to do lady stuff with them. Not that I want to or are qualified to do "lady stuff," but it would be nice to be asked once in a while to spend some time together. Me? I'm there for occasional advice and "fixing" things. When they were younger it was truly "things" that I would fix, now I'm only needed to fix/help "problems."

Do you use lather and blade or electric with your son? Is he able to learn to shave himself? I ask because my next door neighbor's 14 year old son is a person with autism, and he needs to learn to shave. The father's a dopey jerk with limited patience and seems incapable of teaching the young man to shave. I want to suggest they teach him to shave with an electric razor so he can master an important life skill. But I'm only the neighbor and don't want to overstep boundaries.

chazt, i use lather, brush and blade for his shaves. we tried the electric shavers , 2 or 3 different ones, they just didn't work for him. i do not think he will be able to learn to shave on his own. he was 19 before he learned how to..... clean himself up after going to the potty.  sadly, he will never know what it is like to have a job, have a wife and his own kids or any of what folks consider to be normal. on the plus side, he will never know heartache or heartbreak. gotta be honest. sometimes i wonder who is more disabled. him or me?

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 12-16-2017, 10:54 PM
#45
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(12-16-2017, 02:10 PM)sgtfriday Wrote: chazt, i use lather, brush and blade for his shaves. we tried the electric shavers , 2 or 3 different ones, they just didn't work for him. i do not think he will be able to learn to shave on his own. he was 19 before he learned how to..... clean himself up after going to the potty.  sadly, he will never know what it is like to have a job, have a wife and his own kids or any of what folks consider to be normal. on the plus side, he will never know heartache or heartbreak. gotta be honest. sometimes i wonder who is more disabled. him or me?

Spending a not insignificant part of my life with someone who is termed disabled, I have grown to dislike the term... yes, they can't do all the things that "normal" people do - but they are still people able to do a lot of things (sometimes things us neuronormative or "abled" cant) and who finds joy in everyday miracles.

I'm happy that you are able and willing to help him shave and manage those other things. I know it can be frustrating at times, both from my own experiences and from talking to others, but I find it's worth a few frustrations to give a hand when needed Smile

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 12-17-2017, 05:13 PM
#46
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(10-03-2017, 03:28 AM)sgtfriday Wrote: my oldest son is 21 and has autism. so i give him his shaves. he enjoys it and likes aqua velva a/s. it is also valuable father/ son time. i love doing it for him. and you can't put a price on our time together...

Love this post. Thank you for sharing this. Is your son verbal? I work with folks on the spectrum quite a bit and feel privileged to meet families who are able to find ways to share really powerful and meaningful moments with their kids with autism. This sounds like an amazing way to share not only time—but to meet needs for physical and emotional closeness as well as sensory experiences in an unexpectedly awesome way. If you don’t mind I might start recommending it to families I meet that may be struggling to find ways to connect to their kiddos.

Thanks again for posting part of your story. Best of luck as your son gets older. He is lucky to have a father as thoughtful and caring as you are.

Cheers,

Ripkin

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 04-05-2018, 10:33 AM
#47
  • johnz
  • Junior Member
  • Traverse City, MI
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Great thread!! My disability pales in comparison to others but I have essential tremors in my neck (causing my head to shake constantly) and my right (dominant)
hand to shake constantly. But my left hand is fine so anything that requires fine motor skills is difficult to impossible for me to do right handed but can be done left handed. I have therefor taught myself to do the things that require fine motor skills (eating, drinking, etc.) including wet shaving to do them left handed. I've been doing it so long that it has become second nature to me. The adaptive spoon in the video above looks like something I need to check into as right now if I tried eating peas or soup right handed I would have none left before it got to my mouth. I've seen a number of neurologists and there is no medicine I can take to stop the tremors. The only alternative that may work is deep brain stimulation (surgery) and I'm reluctant to go there. It is amazing the way the rest of your body can compensate when a one part of your body doesn't work properly.

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 04-21-2018, 06:29 AM
#48
  • Mouser
  • Senior Member
  • Forest City, Florida U.S.A.
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My disability stems from a tumor removed from the base of my spine when I was 8. My father was a career military man and we were living in Taiwan at the time, 1964. After several somewhat violent episodes, spinal taps and other tests they had no idea what was wrong. They decided to fly me and my father to Japan on a very large cargo plane, no cargo no ther passengers, flew in the Navy doctor who had operated on President Kennedy' back along with some other prominent doctor and in an exploratory surgery found and removed the tumor. They then flew me to Texas where I underwent cobalt radiation treatments and because of the singularity of my case I was more than a few times put on stage in front of an auditorium full of doctors where my case was explained and studied. Several corrective surgeries followed in my teen years and I spent six months flat on my back at a crippled children' home operated by the Elks. The kids I met and befriended there gave me perspective on my small problem and I never felt sorry for myself since. Anyways, some years ago all that old fashioned major surgery and the scar tissue and hardware I carry back there went south and here I am.
That's  the most I've talked about it to anyone other than my best friend of the past 45 years and my wife.

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 05-23-2018, 06:58 PM
#49
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I looked at something that may be of help to those who can only use one hand, or to whom holding the bowl in one hand and brush in the other is difficult. In another forum I saw a fellow who was a newbie and for lack of a bowl used a small mortar. I know these stone mortars can be quite stable so I tried with one I have at home using only my right hand. I used a dollop of shaving soap, I think cream may be easier, but I didn't have any. The mortar weighs around 1 1/2 pounds so it's not that heavy and stayed still during the time I swirled the brush inside to get a load that is good for my face lathering. The stability could be improved with small pieces of rubber glued to the bottom, like the ones made for small furniture, but it was very stable anyway. I hope this helps or leads to other solutions. My respect and best wishes to you all.

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