05-12-2018, 10:47 AM
#1
User Info
Hello! As some of you know I have a few young kids, and I really want to set a good example for them, so that they grow up to be strong gentlemen (and so my daughters know what one looks like). I also am always looking at ways to seek self-improvement, so I came up with a list of attributes that comes to mind when I think of what makes a gentlemen. Obviously I realize that one does not need to wear nice clothes, to be well groomed, or to be intelligent to be a true gentleman, but these are just the first things that come to mind; I also realize that some of these traits are close to being synonymous. Anyone that has any feedback or other attributes that come to mind, please add your thoughts/observations from your life:

1. Aware
2. Respectful
3. Polite
4. Sincere
5. Empathetic
6. Generous
7. Groomed
8. Sartorial
9. Humble
10. Confident
11. Articulate
12. Calm
13. Strong
14. Kind
15. Helpful
16. Thoughtful
17. Honorable
18. Engaging
19. Chivalrous
20. Disciplined
21. Trustworthy
22. Deliberate
23. Genteel
24. Discreet
25. Considerate
26. Good
27. Positive
28. Refined
29. Civil
30. Benevolent
31. Impeccable
32. Eloquent
33. Reliable

Thanks for any of your thoughts!

Vr

Matt

13 537
Reply
 05-12-2018, 12:14 PM
#2
User Info
Chaucer, in the Meliboeus (circa 1386), says: "Certes he sholde not be called a gentil man, that... ne dooth his diligence and bisynesse, to kepen his good name"; and in The Wife of Bath's Tale:


    Loke who that is most vertuous alway
    Prive and apert, and most entendeth ay
    To do the gentil dedes that he can
    And take him for the gretest gentilman

And in the Romance of the Rose (c. 1400) we find: "he is gentil bycause he doth as longeth to a gentilman."

As for how to go about keeping once good name... well, you're not grasping the stick by the wrong end, even if I feel a lot of the things you list comes naturally from some of the others, and I do miss a word I find important: Honest

3 5,767
Reply
 05-12-2018, 12:45 PM
#3
User Info
HONEST and VIRTUOUS! These are two attributes of a gentleman that should certainly be on the list! Fine points! Thanks!

13 537
Reply
 05-12-2018, 12:48 PM
#4
User Info
My father introduced me to the poem "If" by the English writer Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936).  


[Image: jMdJ6B2.jpg]

53 8,219
Reply
 05-12-2018, 01:04 PM
#5
User Info
That is a profound poem! I will share that with each of my sons when the time is right. I currently have three with one on the way! Two wonderful daughters as well! Thanks for sharing the poem!

13 537
Reply
 05-12-2018, 01:29 PM
#6
User Info
(05-12-2018, 12:48 PM)TheLegalRazor Wrote: My father introduced me to the poem "If" by the English writer Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936).  



[Image: jMdJ6B2.jpg]

I have that poem in my office and hokd it dearest to my heart as words to live by... As you can see from my signature

42 345
Reply
 05-12-2018, 02:04 PM
#7
  • chazt
  • Senior Member
  • Queens, NY
User Info
Matt, you've presented an excellent list of gentlemanly attributes. Well done.

It's difficult to be all of the above all the time.

10 3,119
Reply
 05-12-2018, 02:55 PM
#8
User Info
Thanks Charlie! I came up with another at my wife’s work BBQ. FAITHFUL...faithful to something higher than ourselves...a significant other, an idea, our country, our family, whatever religion one ascribes to...etc. To some Nookers this stuff will sound familiar...I am a mason as well.

13 537
Reply
 05-12-2018, 02:59 PM
#9
User Info
Charlie...it is difficult to be all of these attributes all the time, but when I fail, I recognize it, and try to do better. No man gets to be who he wants to be all the time.

(05-12-2018, 02:04 PM)chazt Wrote: Matt, you've presented an excellent list of gentlemanly attributes. Well done.

It's difficult to be all of the above all the time.

13 537
Reply
 05-12-2018, 04:02 PM
#10
  • chazt
  • Senior Member
  • Queens, NY
User Info
Every day is a fresh start with an opportunity to surpass the previous day.

10 3,119
Reply
 05-12-2018, 04:20 PM
#11
  • Shaun
  • Senior Member
  • St Peters, NSW, Australia
User Info
A gentleman is: someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't. Smile

0 1,983
Reply
 05-12-2018, 04:23 PM
#12
User Info
(05-12-2018, 04:20 PM)Shaun Wrote: A gentleman is: someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't. Smile

YES!!! I think that would clearly fall under HUMBLE...though I do like to operate with some serious PANACHE!

13 537
Reply
 05-12-2018, 04:34 PM
#13
  • Obie
  • Senior Member
  • Glendale, Wisconsin
User Info
A gentleman also holds what Matthew Arnold said: "Life is not a having and a getting, but a being and a becoming."

177 3,657
Reply
 05-12-2018, 09:30 PM
#14
  • evnpar
  • Emeritus
  • Portland, Oregon
User Info
I'm so glad that I don't know any gentlemen.

38 5,671
Reply
 05-13-2018, 04:20 AM
#15
  • Steelman
  • SUPPORT OUR POLICE OFFICERS
  • Delaware
User Info
The four cardinal virtues, according to Plato, are required for a successful life (beyond just being a gentleman)

Wisdom
Temperance (refrain from all wickedness)
Fortitude (strength;courage)
Righteousness (justice)

And the three heavenly graces of faith, hope and charity.

Since the time of Plato, these seven attributes have been accepted by all cultures as the goodness we all should strive for in our lives, most notably espoused by Marcus Aurelius but by many other world leaders as well.

174 1,597
Reply
 05-13-2018, 05:50 AM
#16
User Info
Thanks Obie and Steelman! This is all great stuff, and I am pleased that my list is expanding! Great way to start the day!

A shave would have been nice, but completely unnecessary right now since I did that 3 pass early yesterday afternoon with the Genesis! What a joy!

Vr

Matt

13 537
Reply
 05-13-2018, 09:00 AM
#17
User Info
(05-12-2018, 12:14 PM)WegianWarrior Wrote: <snip> ... I do miss a word I find important: Honest

+1

Here's window on young George Washington's perspective: https://managers.usc.edu/files/2015/05/G...-Rules.pdf.

3 1,222
Reply
 05-13-2018, 09:23 AM
#18
User Info
Great link! Thanks!

(05-13-2018, 09:00 AM)Paladin Shaving Wrote:
(05-12-2018, 12:14 PM)WegianWarrior Wrote: <snip> ... I do miss a word I find important: Honest

+1

Here's window on young George Washington's perspective: https://managers.usc.edu/files/2015/05/G...-Rules.pdf.

13 537
Reply
 05-13-2018, 09:50 AM
#19
User Info
I always reference:

The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.

- John Walter Wayland

0 994
Reply
 05-13-2018, 10:09 AM
#20
User Info
That is fantastic Smooth Steve! Thanks for shaving it with us!

13 537
Reply
Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)