09-22-2012, 06:46 AM
  • Howler
  • A calamophile and vintage razor lover
  • Fort Smith AR
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Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of
a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but
was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So the monarch offered
him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult

Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if after a
year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man,
and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But since it
was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to
have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody:
the princess, the priests, the wise men, the court jester.

He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory
answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, only
she would know the answer.

The price would be high; the witch was famous throughout the
kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative
but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question,
but he'd have to accept her price first:

The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the
Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous,
had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises,
etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure
such a burden.

Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He told him that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to
Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered
Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth
and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur total

What a wedding Gawain and the witch had!

Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper
as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst
manners on display, and generally made everyone very

The honeymoon hour approached. Gawain, steeling himself for a
horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight
awaited him! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before

The astounded Gawain asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when
she'd appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible,
deformed self half the time, and the other half, she would be
her beautiful maiden self.

Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during
the night?

What a cruel question!

Gawain pondered his predicament. During the day, a beautiful
woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy
of his home, an old witch?

Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a
beautiful woman with whom to enjoy many intimate moments?

What would you do?

What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read it until you've
made your own choice.

Make YOUR choice BEFORE you read Gawain's answer!

Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all
the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in
charge of her own life.

What is the moral of this story?

The moral is:
If your woman doesn't get her own way,
things are going to get ugly!

~Author Unknown~

1 3,507
 09-22-2012, 07:14 AM
  • Johnny
  • Super Moderator
  • Wausau, Wisconsin, USA
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Long but good, and sometimes very true.

180 24,752
 09-22-2012, 07:34 AM
  • beartrap
  • Resident Цирюльник
  • Southern California
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I know the author is a woman. Once you leave that first decision up to her, that's it! I know what I would have said Biggrin

88 4,233
 09-22-2012, 07:39 AM
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Great story.

(of course we know it's fictional because even thought it's the legendary Arthur we are talking about, in only one year he learns what women really want)

3 460
 09-22-2012, 07:52 AM
  • Johan
  • Barberian of the lathering
  • Sweden
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Good one! Woman in this house agrees! Biggrin

0 284
 09-22-2012, 10:40 AM
  • Notary
  • Member
  • Montreal, Quebec
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Terrific story, I also made my wife read it and think she enjoyed it more than me. I love stories like that and they go a long way in teaching us the consideration we owe each other as human beings, for men and women alike.

And sometimes we men can be over bearing, selfish, especially as it relates to the opposite sex, more importantly members of the opposite sex that we should love most, like our mothers and wives.

Anyways, great story again and would love to read more of them. Happy Shaving, Sam.

0 108
 09-22-2012, 10:47 AM
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As the line goes -- "when Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy." Kinda rude, but true.

And it reminds us that virtually nobody wants all of life's decisions made for them. How would YOU like to be under someone else's thumb all the time? Whether that someone be male or female, boss or spouse, none of us would want that. So let's not be on the other end of the deal. Let's let Mama be in charge of her own life. Then maybe she'll let us do the same.

16 351
 09-22-2012, 07:01 PM
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Brad, great story!

89 21,190
 09-22-2012, 09:01 PM
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I've heard it before, but was still entertaining. Don't think I read the moral at the end before though.

9 3,046
 09-26-2012, 04:48 PM
  • freddy
  • Banned
  • San Diego, California, U.S.A.
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Thanks, Brad. A great little story with a wonderful moral for all. Smile

2 11,211
 09-26-2012, 09:55 PM
  • Teiste
  • Moderator Emeritus
  • Salt Lake City,UT
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I had a very good time reading this story.Thanks for sharing it.

89 7,215
 09-26-2012, 10:31 PM
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Great read!

5 938
 09-26-2012, 10:45 PM
  • Johnny
  • Super Moderator
  • Wausau, Wisconsin, USA
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Just follow the simple Golden Rule and all will be well.

180 24,752
 09-27-2012, 01:50 AM
  • Leon
  • Active Member
  • Porto, Portugal
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This reminds me of a play here in Portugal about the same subject. The author is a woman who spends 2 hours on the stage making fun of men and how they don't "get" women at all.

4 315
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