12-05-2021, 07:51 AM
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Dear Shaving-Aficionados:

  A while ago I was carefully selecting a few new aftershaves for the winter season – I am living close to a few very good suppliers of insider scents, floated mostly in extreme limited quantities on the market. Making friends with those specialized merchants (and further down the supply chain, with those passionate craftsmen themselves) is highly recommended.
  It happened that I used a new aftershave last weekend – a scent of a soft Oud with sandalwood; further combined it with a perfume (extract) with cedarwood, a soft grassy vetiver, grapefruit and saffron after showering with a juniper scented shampoo. Without the aftershave, it is a combination I am doing more often. It was with the aftershave that added a surprising tantalizing erotic bouquet.
  I was made aware of this effect, as it teased a girlfriend of me and my wife. Our girlfriend, having a fine diner with us at home that evening, got mystified and eroticized by the scent I was wearing – also my wife became into a seductive mood through this carefully selected combination of scents that suited perfectly for the atmosphere.
  Obviously, I picked a good aftershave that harmonized my previous selection of parfum extract and body shower. However, I chose this aftershave by recommendation of my wife’s preferences (and maybe our girlfriend as well, I do not know if they executed some seductive diplomatic trick).
  In the past few years, it seems I am more and more unconsciously tempted to develop my preferences by asking explicitly for my wife’s preferences. She often says that she adores – almost worships – the smell of my freshly shaven face – confirming me in making good choices and allow her to add one or another spiced up or cooled down fragrance.
  For the gentlemen, my question: do you select your (aftershave, shaving soap etc.) scents based upon your partners wishes and recommendations? Or do you (obstinately) only choose what you like yourself? Do you discuss the choices you make with your partner when you are using a new aftershave scent? Is your partner recognising a newly selected scent? What are, for you, the reasons to select a scent, and what are the reasons for your partner to select a particular scent?
  For the lady’s (or the partner in general): I am thrilled to read your thoughts, by example on how much effort are you putting into the persuasion of your partners choice for a particular (aftershave) scent? What are the typical motivations of recommending a scent (does it eroticize you, does a particular scent calms you or make you feel safe for example through recognition of the first moments together)? Does your partner often agree with your choices? Do you recognise it when your partner selected a new scent?


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 12-05-2021, 09:45 AM
  • 2Chops
  • Senior Member
  • North Central PA
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My wife has asthma.  And many scents that I like are on the NO list because of this.  So when contemplating a new scent, I always ask her. I had a soap that was from a local artisan soap maker that I had to toss after only a few uses.  It seemed ok when I first got it.  But noticed it set her off after using it.  So out it went.

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 12-07-2021, 02:36 AM
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(12-05-2021, 09:45 AM)2Chops Wrote: My wife has asthma.  And many scents that I like are on the NO list because of this.  So when contemplating a new scent, I always ask her. I had a soap that was from a local artisan soap maker that I had to toss after only a few uses.  It seemed ok when I first got it.  But noticed it set her off after using it.  So out it went.

Dear 2Chops,

   Interesting situation you are in and I am happy to read you are asking your wife to be involved in making your choices. That is a great sign of respect for her!

   Do you, maybe, use products without any perfume? When yes, which ones? And are they good in quality?

   In my journey, I learnt that in most products there are artificial or synthetic perfumes - these are especially problematic for people with respiratory problems. My mother is not asthmatic but she is getting extreme headaches when someone is wearing strong perfumes. Through that situation I learnt slowly to wear very discrete perfumes and/or use soft aftershaves and try to layer some notes (as what I described above). I am always opting for natural essential oils or extracts and not to take artificial scents, and in general avoid highly alcoholic diluted fragrances with problematic alcohols (causing the evaporation of the diluted fragrances).
   What I noticed when a close friend of mine turned out to have COPD, is to generally avoid strong base notes (leather, Oud, balsamic notes) or flowery notes (as wood, balsamic, animalic and flowery notes are generally synthetic) and opt, when meeting him, for fruity notes that seemed to be more acceptable as they are generally gone swifter (that is why you never see citrus as the base note) or some green notes (such as fern, green tea). Or soft wooden notes hidden underneath the cloths (thus on the body where it can dilute with the body odeur). Though journey to find to right stuff, but worth it!

   The olfactory heavy perfumed stuff I avoid - the stuff you generally see in drugstores or supermarkets. There are so many perfumes, pre-shaves, or after-shaves that have a very heavy odeur, just to express a form of ‘manliness’ or ‘erotic temptation’. (Create that yourself by layering your discrete fragrances).

    I learnt quite a lot from my mom’s situation. In my younger years I grabbed once my very first perfume, after shave and shaving foam. It was a major discovery for me. It was from a general drugstore - under €30 - and I think it was great as it matched all criteria: an act of manliness, it was good for the wallet, attentive for the lady's (I thought), and I could be the star-competitor among my friends. But my proudness, at 16, crushed within a few days: my mom was constantly having a headache and the only thing that was changed that week, was my proud newly acquired stuff. Deodorants were never an option (due to the gas that contribute to asthma, COPD and other respiratory problems). When I stoped using it - trail and error - my moms headache disappeared. 

    Later, when reading about perfumes, I learnt that in the particular stuff I bought everything was artificial/synthetic, and the perfume contained over 23 (fake) perfume notes. 23!. And bad alcohol. That’s crazy! So I started my research and got lost in the world of perfumes - a world you have to muddle through I have to say. I have now a collection of insider tips: they are expensive, but you do not need much of it and it contains often a maximum of 5 complementary notes (instead of the potpourri often presented). It are all very decent notes. Combined with other products, it turned out to work perfectly well for my mom. I later discussed and tried this with my ‘COPD-friend’: he responded in a very positive way. It takes time to learn, but it is worth every minute.

    It is the same as with my skin-care routine. After a year of research, I am now using a natural skin-care based on Aloe Vera instead of water-with-alcohol and it is not perfumed: it is great and it does not conflict with other products. I never understood why you can have a fragranced face-cream with rose and ylang ylang, a UV-protection that smells like clay, oranges and banana’s (oooh, what a joyful summer vibe!) and combine it with an after-shave of Oud, a perfume of a bouquet lavender, begonia and buttercup flowers… what a strange potpourri are people wearing! 

    From there, I learnt quite often that people do often not understand that the one or the other cheap choice can be a trigger for respiratory and subsequent problems to others (and themselves after years). Taking care of yourself is also considering others - and with the knowledge we have and the many options we are blessed with to chose from, we can study a bit more and make better choices for ourselves and others.
    A sad story exemplifies this: A colleague of mine - in a hospital (!) in the UK - was wearing strong perfumes and was wondering why people always sneezed, got head aches, reacted not to medication (!), or started to avoid her when she was around… well… and the most thrilling of this: she was angry to these people (she even accused a patient of not taking her medication: the patient did, but due to an atmospheric element in her perfume, it did not respond)… but she made the mistake by not taking her environment serious and adapt to it (even not in a hospital (!)). Or another, less harmful experience: during a wine-tasting, a young gentleman wore a after-shave that filled the entire tasting room, he was angry to the host - she selected the wrong wines and complained about us that we are not interesting in tasting wine - simply because he was unable to smell the fine elements of the wine as his after shave was so dominant…


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