10-23-2012, 09:51 AM
#1
  • Johnny
  • Super Moderator
  • Wausau, Wisconsin, USA
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A little college football humor. It's all in fun so don't get upset if your team is mentioned.


Athletic resurrections

Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players:
"He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
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Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
A) So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
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What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
A) Drool.
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How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A) None. That's a sophomore course.
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How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?
A) The cow fell on him.
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Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, "Look, a dead bird." The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
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A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse. ______________________________________________________________________________________
What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "
A) "Will the defendant please rise."
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If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?
A) The police officer.
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How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
A) There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
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What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A) A full set of teeth.
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University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.
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How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?
A) They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
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Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?
A) He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
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How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?
A) Pay him for the pizza.
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What are the longest three years of a University of Kentucky football players life?
A) Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.

-- ""We are here on Earth to help others. What Others are here for, I have no idea." W. H. Auden, American poet and writer, 1907-1973

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 10-23-2012, 10:01 AM
#2
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Great jokes Johnny!

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 10-23-2012, 10:07 AM
#3
  • J_fro
  • Senior Member
  • From the 716!
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What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
A) Drool.

Hey, it is called the Bowl Championship Series, not the National Reading Comprehension Championship. lol. I had a friend that was a Poetry/Eng. Comp. prof at LSU... woooeee.

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 10-23-2012, 10:12 AM
#4
  • freddy
  • Senior Member
  • San Diego, California, U.S.A.
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Johnny, even I got a kick out of the jokes, which is pretty incredible since Freddy and sports are mutually exclusive. Wink

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 10-23-2012, 10:17 AM
#5
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Funny, Johnny.

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 10-23-2012, 11:59 AM
#6
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That's hilarious

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 10-23-2012, 02:02 PM
#7
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 10-23-2012, 05:45 PM
#8
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Funny Johnny, real funny. You do know that you're messing with my Buckeyes?Angry

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